Travel Time

Perhaps you don’t fully understand how long it takes to untangle yourself from the life you created. I realize that once you figure out that your life isn’t working, you want to start living a new life right away. Normal!!!! Not possible though. It’s taken you over 30 years to get where you are today and it’s going to take some time (NO — not another 30 years!!) to get somewhere else.

A glimpse at a breakthrough

The following is section of the coaching summary I sent to a client.  She is a very successful business woman in her early 50s,  never married and has no children. She wants to end the chaos and overwhelm in her life and to find a partner to share herself with.  She grown frustrated by the seemly slow progress.  I wonder if you can see yourself in this scenario.

You’re doing really well!

Perhaps you don’t fully understand how long it takes to untangle yourself from the life you created.  I realize that once you figure out that your life isn’t working, you want to start living a new life right away. Normal!!!! Not possible though.  It’s taken you over 30 years to get where you are today and it’s going to take some time (NO — not another 30 years!!) to get somewhere else.

Imagine that your journey is to a place called  Joy City (hey, you’re the one that mentioned Girl Scout.) Right now you live in Sad Town which is in Chaos County. On the map, Joy City is clear across the country from Sad Town. To get there you’re going to have to figure out the logistics of highways, overnight hotels, detours, traffic, re-fueling stations, and perhaps a few side trips to sight see.  It will take some time to get to Joy City; how much depends on the fuel in your car, the detours, traffic, and just how many side trips you take. The quickest way from Sad Town to Joy City is a straight line but even that will require travel time.

The analogy continues…

Once on the road you won’t stare at the picture of Joy City on the map nor will you stare into the rear view mirror–if you do you’ll never arrive at Joy City and you might even end up someplace worse than Sad Town.  No, you’ll get into your car, check the map for a milestone that marks the first part of the journey, and then focus on the road RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!  As you drive you’ll be presented with options (detours, side trips, highways or local streets, etc.) The choices you make in the road RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU determine the ultimate travel time to Joy City.

Oh yes, there’s more …

For you I believe we need to include some passengers in your car. Passengers named, Ms. Fear, Ms. Doubt, Ms. Pleaser, and Ms. I. M. Worthless. Each of these passengers weigh your car down and must be dropped off someplace else before you can freely motor to Joy City.

  • The map is your Values List
  • The fuel is your desire to live into your values
  • The car is your conscious choice.

You are on the road!

I hope you see this. You’re just stuck on the local streets and take detours to avoid traffic (traffic is a metaphor for uncomfortable choices.)  Once you release a few habitual “shoulds” which create traffic you’ll be ready to drop off your first passenger, Ms. Fear.

Please remember you have come SO far already. Don’t turn back now because Sad Town SUCKS! and it’s WAY TOO EXPENSIVE!!!

Do you see yourself behind the wheel of this car? How do you manage traffic?

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Author: Lorraine Esposito

Lorraine Esposito Lorraine@Peacemaker-Coach.com 914-410-7502 Lorraine Esposito is a certified professional life coach, mentor coach, owner of The Center for Coaching Mastery at Westchester Community College in New York, and nationally recognized author of The Peacemaker Parent, Solving Problems for Today, Teaching Independence for a Lifetime, Lorraine is the featured life coach for a popular New York radio station, WFAS 103.9 FM and is in collaboration with and featured blogger for the National Football League and USA Football adding a ‘coach approach’ to coaching youth sports. Lorraine’s client base includes CEO’s in the entertainment industry, White House and Capitol Hill public affairs staff, entrepreneurs, global TED speakers, award winning writers, new coaches just starting out, successful business women between 40 and 55 looking for more out of life, and parents needing a little help making good on their parenting promises. Lorraine’s career matches the diversity in her coaching practices. Starting out in the rural mid-west, Lorraine has owned four small businesses; the first, an automobile repair center, started at age 16. Her corporate experience is mainly in negotiating multimillion dollar contracts as the buyer of domestic in-flight food and beverages for Trans World Airlines and then as a procurement manager for the New York City Transit Authority. Lorraine’s strength has always been creatively finding solutions to even the most complicated goal. In addition, Lorraine’s 30 years as a professional fitness coach continues to add depth to all her endeavors. She has been featured in various print, broadcast, and on-line media and is a public speaker regarding personal leadership to community and school-based audiences. Lorraine lives in New York with her husband and two teenage sons.

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