It’s hard to be happy when you don’t feel connected to other people. If you aren’t being heard or clearly understanding what other people say to you, it’s just not possible to create strong bonds and you won’t be very good at getting what you want or need.
Getting the words out there is just the beginning.
Effective communication involves speaking and listening, dialogue and hearing, verbal and non-verbal aspects, tone of voice, emotions, approach, beliefs, and frameworks. Although we communicate every day, effective communication does not occur as often as you might think.
So, ask yourself:
- Do you communicate well?
- Are you connected to others?
- Are you getting what you need and want?
No? Read on!
This is the first of a multi-post series about communication that will give you the information and action steps needed for you to answer a resounding YES! to all these questions.
The Groundwork – Upgrading Communication Skills Is No Accident
Before we dive into the nitty-gritty of communication, let’s understand that upgrading your skills doesn’t happen by accident; it takes time, energy, focus, and commitment. So, for you to invest in this endeavor, you should understand the benefits of effective communication.
Top 10 – What’s in it for you
1. You get what you want
You have a much better chance of getting what you want from other people when you are able to ask for it well.
2. Life is more stimulating
The ability to signal understanding to another person creates trust. You pave the way for more engaging and stimulating interactions.
3. You make better choices
You develop a high degree of discernment so that you recognize the clues, subtleties and nuances of what people say to you, even when they don’t recognize it themselves.
4. You have less drama in your life
Having the skill to say what we want and to demonstrate respectful listening increases intimacy and brings us greater social influence.
5. More collaboration
You’ll develop relationships that help you co-create new and better opportunities
6. Empathy is possible
When you can clarify meaning (draw powerful distinctions) you’ll enable empathy and shifts in thinking.
7. Greater possibilities
Removing confusion (mixed signals) eliminates frustration and stress. By freeing the energy used to explain yourself, you’ll have more time to create.
8. Relationship improve (including the one you have with yourself)
Respect and appreciation are the result of communicating cleanly.
9. You become a better person by:
- Being in tune with what’s said and not said
- Creating deeper connections between you and the people in your life
- Leading by example and inspiring others to a higher level of rapport
- Being more approachable and compassionate
- Being genuinely interested in other people and open to new ways of looking at the world.
10. You (and your message) are remembered
A concise comment delivered in simple words conveys something that people will remember.
Now that’s worth a bit of time, energy, focus, and commitment!
Bottom-line
The basic truth about life is that we get all our opportunities and the things we need from other people. So it just makes sense that upgrading your communication skills will bring you more opportunity and more of the things that make you happy. Definitely a wise investment!
Next post: Communication Part 2: Definitions and Distinctions
Related Tip of the Week: Powerful Listening – What to Listen to, Know-it-All,
Also see
- Communication Part 3 – Profound Relationships
- Communication Part 4 – Style
- Communication Part 5 – Pivotal Moments
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