Influence, that’s it and that’s enough

by Lorraine Esposito on October 1, 2011

in You as a parent

I maintain that it’s an illusion to think a parent has control over her child.   All we have is our influence and it’s more than enough to protect and guide our kids into happy and wonderful lives.   Nobody believes me … at first.   “Ha! Maybe you don’t have control over your kids, but I sure as hell do.”

A parent of children ages 2 to 5…

thinks I’m wrong because there’s so much evidence supporting her control; she’s very hands on.  The idea is still dismissed even after I mention the possibility of her child sticking her car key into a light socket at the hockey rink  (yes, my son did this while I was standing right next to him),  but when she blinks twice I know she’s thinking.

A parent of children ages 5 to 8 …

still thinks I’m wrong but it’s more a reaction of denial and fear than disbelief.   I don’t have to say too much to prove my point,   I’ll just ask her about the naughty words her son brought home from kindergarten.

A parent of children ages 8 to 10 …

is reluctant to directly acknowledge agreement with my idea but she acknowledge indirectly,  “Oh, I have to pick my battles now.”

A parent with children 10 and older …

thinks I’m wrong — oh not about the illusion of control,  she is a believer by now.   At this point she just doubts whether the influence she has with her kids will,  in fact,  be enough to protect and guide them.

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