Got Kids? Take 2 Aspirins

I thought I knew how it would play out. I approached parenthood as if it were a set of skills I needed to learn. WRONG!

A recent post explained the final quote used in my book, The Peacemaker Parent.  This one explains the first:

“If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: ‘Take two aspirin’ and ‘Keep away from children.’” —Unknown

I purposely sprinkled over 200 quotes through the book to lighten the mood of my readers.  I figured that anyone buying the book might be having a tough time, and humor always helps with that.

The Hardest Job EVER!

Raising a family is, by far, the hardest job I’ve ever had.  I had no idea it would be harder than negotiating multimillion dollar contracts for a commercial airline or starting three different businesses—all were tough but in comparison to raising 2 boys, they were cake-walks.  I thought motherhood would be joyful, but it sucked.  Surely, I was doing something wrong.

Now, several years later, I actually feel joyful being a mother—most of the time, that is—and I see that, yes, I had done something wrong.  I had prepared for the predictable

Love the Unpredictable

I thought I knew how it would play out.  Like most mothers, I prepared for parenthood by reading, listening, and watching other people.  I approached parenthood as if it were a job that required a set of skills.  I mistakenly thought that all I needed to do to be the perfect parent with the perfect kids was to learn the skills.  Boy was I WRONG!

Kids and Pianos

I thought I could control the cause/effect cycle as if parenting were like learning to play the piano.  Practicing skills gives you great control over the outcome when learning to play the piano because the piano doesn’t change in response to your practice.  Kids are most definitely NOT like pianos.  Kids respond unpredictably making the whole parenting thing chaotic and overwhelming much of the time.  The minute I tried something with my boys, I set in motion the wild and spontaneous evolutionary process; I wasn’t prepared for that.

“If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: ‘Take two aspirin’ and ‘Keep away from children.’” —Unknown

It takes a flexible mindset to stay paced with the evolution in your family.  Chaos pops up from time-to-time, spiking high here and there, but the way you  feel  about the chaos will determine the degree to which you feel overwhelmed or joyful.  By remaining in awe of the process and open to evolutionary changes in your children  (and in your own thinking,)  you’ll come to appreciate the beauty with which life unfolds.

However, until you can see the beauty of it all,  be ready with the aspirin advice. (wink)

Chime In!

Can someone be prepared for the evolutionary process of parenthood by reading books?  Do you think overwhelming feelings can be softened by recognizing the awe in the moment?   What happens when you try to prepare for  “everything”  that  “could”  happen?

Related Articles:  What NOT to Expect When You’re Expecting, Caution:  Tripping Hazard

Related Tip of the Week:   Frustration

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Author: Lorraine Esposito

Lorraine Esposito 914-410-7502 Lorraine Esposito is a certified professional life coach, mentor coach, owner of The Center for Coaching Mastery at Westchester Community College in New York, and nationally recognized author of The Peacemaker Parent, Solving Problems for Today, Teaching Independence for a Lifetime, Lorraine is the featured life coach for a popular New York radio station, WFAS 103.9 FM and is in collaboration with and featured blogger for the National Football League and USA Football adding a ‘coach approach’ to coaching youth sports. Lorraine’s client base includes CEO’s in the entertainment industry, White House and Capitol Hill public affairs staff, entrepreneurs, global TED speakers, award winning writers, new coaches just starting out, successful business women between 40 and 55 looking for more out of life, and parents needing a little help making good on their parenting promises. Lorraine’s career matches the diversity in her coaching practices. Starting out in the rural mid-west, Lorraine has owned four small businesses; the first, an automobile repair center, started at age 16. Her corporate experience is mainly in negotiating multimillion dollar contracts as the buyer of domestic in-flight food and beverages for Trans World Airlines and then as a procurement manager for the New York City Transit Authority. Lorraine’s strength has always been creatively finding solutions to even the most complicated goal. In addition, Lorraine’s 30 years as a professional fitness coach continues to add depth to all her endeavors. She has been featured in various print, broadcast, and on-line media and is a public speaker regarding personal leadership to community and school-based audiences. Lorraine lives in New York with her husband and two teenage sons.

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