There aren’t any excuses that can take the place of making good on your parenting promises. In the words of Mary Kay Ash, “The only difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is extraordinary determination,” meaning, unsuccessful people are the ones who stopped trying and started making excuses.
But why, why do parents start making excuses? Is it because they can’t succeed or don’t try hard? Nah, it’s much less complicated than that. It’s more likely they just didn’t know how to play the WHOLE game. There are at least 7 parts of every winning game and successful parents are the ones who play the WHOLE game. That takes extraordinary determination.
To understand the meaning of “extraordinary determination” you have to first understand the parts of a winning game and then know how to play each of them well.
Think of the pyramid as the sum of your opportunities. Notice that you have more room at the bottom and less towards the top. What you might not notice right away is that along with all the opportunities at the bottom, you’ll also find most of your resistance, and the higher you go the less resistance you’ll encounter. Leveraging the power of the pyramid is how extraordinary determination is defined.
80% of your opportunities come from strategy, planning, and goals.
Every day you have an opportunity to update your plans and strategy. Plans change in response to daily changes in resources, schedules, timing, energy, etc. Strategy must also update accordingly because part of strategy is repositioning to reduce friction, automate chores, etc. Strategy includes your direct involvement AND the way you position all your assets.
Mini games change less frequently because you’ll need time to gather results—especially if you’re trying something new—but once you’ve evaluated the results of an experiment, you can make changes and play again for even better results.
See how simple it is to succeed? Just focus 80% of your energy on the bottom of the pyramid and you’ll never make another excuse again!
Hold on there …
Simple Ain’t So Easy
80% of resistance comes from strategy, planning, and goals.
Every day you face the life you created and now want to change. You face your undisciplined mind when you don’t stick to plans and you face the resistance of other people’s agendas. Every day you bump against resistance and it’s hard to keep going. It’s more attractive to linger at the top of the pyramid because at the top, you’re focused on how wonderful life will be once all that other stuff gets done. The higher you go the farther away from your everyday reality—where all the resistance waits. Unsuccessful people spend 80% of their time thinking about winning and 20% actually playing to win. At that rate, you’re likely to give up well before you succeed.
How to start succeeding
Take time to think through each of the top 4 pyramid elements. Clearly define your vision, mission, purpose, and outcome and make sure that they link and support each other. Spend 80% of the next few days on this task, and once you’re clear about the top 4, shift your focus to the bottom 3 and start making it come true! Reduce your focus on the lofty ideas to 20% and channel the power of your inspiration into action. With 80% of your energy focused on 80% of the opportunities, you won’t waste another minute looking for excuses—you’re extraordinary determination won’t allow it.
Tip of the Week
Each week I publish one simple tip that supports the 80%. This week’s tip, Lunch Notes, suggested ideas for deepening the vital connection with your kids. I’ve even created a Pintrest board and will continue to fill it with resources. It’s all about amplifying our influence, that’s why 80% of my time is spent finding ways to do just that. Have a look at a few tips and then share one of your own.
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