Listen With Caution

You might need to be uncomfortable in order to get happy. Be brave and ask a lot of curious questions so that uncomfortable choices are wisely made.

Remembered experiences, and the feelings we associate with them, form our thoughts about who we think ourselves to be. The older we get the more experience we have thinking of ourselves in a certain way. It’s how we come to know who we are.


Knowing ourselves makes decision-making easier. We can make good predictions about the future based on our memories of similar situations from the past. Our ability to predict the outcome of a choice is possible through our associative memory. Thanks to our hippocampus, a part of our unconscious mid-brain, we can store memories about people, places, and things as remember feelings. That means that we’re likely to feel good about something new if we’ve stored good feelings about something similar.

Living Inside the Box

It stands to reason that most people choose that which makes them comfortable. The problem is that feeling comfortable may be nothing more than having familiarity with something. Just because it’s familiar doesn’t guarantee it’ll be good for you.  So, if all of your choices are made so that you feel comfortable, you might find yourself trapped in an uncomfortable box.

Follow the trail – is it comfortably bad or uncomfortably good


To “feel” is simply thinking in the past.


Sometimes you might have to choose to be uncomfortable in order to get happy. Be brave and ask a lot of curious questions so that uncomfortable choices are wisely made.

Related Tip of the Week: Happiness is a Comparison, Decode a Feeling

Related Articles:  Obstacles to Happiness, Less Sad Isn’t Happy


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Author: Lorraine Esposito

Lorraine Esposito 914-410-7502 Lorraine Esposito is a certified professional life coach, mentor coach, owner of The Center for Coaching Mastery at Westchester Community College in New York, and nationally recognized author of The Peacemaker Parent, Solving Problems for Today, Teaching Independence for a Lifetime, Lorraine is the featured life coach for a popular New York radio station, WFAS 103.9 FM and is in collaboration with and featured blogger for the National Football League and USA Football adding a ‘coach approach’ to coaching youth sports. Lorraine’s client base includes CEO’s in the entertainment industry, White House and Capitol Hill public affairs staff, entrepreneurs, global TED speakers, award winning writers, new coaches just starting out, successful business women between 40 and 55 looking for more out of life, and parents needing a little help making good on their parenting promises. Lorraine’s career matches the diversity in her coaching practices. Starting out in the rural mid-west, Lorraine has owned four small businesses; the first, an automobile repair center, started at age 16. Her corporate experience is mainly in negotiating multimillion dollar contracts as the buyer of domestic in-flight food and beverages for Trans World Airlines and then as a procurement manager for the New York City Transit Authority. Lorraine’s strength has always been creatively finding solutions to even the most complicated goal. In addition, Lorraine’s 30 years as a professional fitness coach continues to add depth to all her endeavors. She has been featured in various print, broadcast, and on-line media and is a public speaker regarding personal leadership to community and school-based audiences. Lorraine lives in New York with her husband and two teenage sons.

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