The Fraud Space

We spend a lot of time hiding from possible criticism even though it would free us to move on and do great things.

Have you heard?  The Game of Life, by Milton Bradley,  added a new space on the game board.   It’s an orange space which means that players must stop and follow the instructions.   Fortunately, there are only three such space:

The Career/Professional Fraud Space

Employer discovers you really aren’t smart enough or creative enough or that your product or service doesn’t really work.  Players must either choose:

  1. To be demoted publicly but retain current salary.
  2. Accept a quiet 25% pay reduction while publicly retaining his or her job title.

The Romance Fraud Space

Your rich boyfriend or girlfriend (“Soon to be husband or wife, I hope, I hope, I hope!”) discovers you really aren’t good-looking enough or fit enough, or sexy enough.  Players must choose to either:

  1. Pay $150,000 and lose 2 turns for a series of quiet plastic surgeries. This choice enables the player to continue hoping for marriage.
  2. Get dumped by the boyfriend or girlfriend and spin again to start over with another prospect.

The Parent Fraud Space

Your children discover that you drink, smoke, lie, cheat, are lazy, selfish, eat junk food, pass gas, skip tooth brushing occasionally, drive fast, drive after drinking, drive while texting, don’t look both ways before crossing the street, avoid responsibility, procrastinate, blame others, don’t know the answer to something, or are just plain mean to people sometimes.   Players must choose to either:

  1. Continue the illusion of perfection.  Players choosing to continue the illusion also risk paying the $100,000 Therapy Penalty.  On the players next turn, he or she must spin a 1 to avoid paying the penalty. (Note:  The odds are 1:10 players will avoid the penalty.)
  2. Acknowledge the double standard. Players risk hearing, “I feel betrayed and I no longer worship the ground you walk,” from his or her children.  This choice grants the player and the player’s children a Freedom Card.  Freedom Cards add 10% additional benefit to all the player’s moves throughout the rest of the game.  (Note:  The benefits are greatest if players choose this option early in the game.)

Where you tempted?

How many of you, like me, think it sounds a little easier to take the first options and preserve the outward facade even though it might mean you lose the game?   Remember, the object the game is to:   “Collect money and LIFE tiles, and have the highest dollar amount at the end of the game.”   Obviously I’m making all this up, but it’s one way of highlighting just how far we sometimes consider going to conceal ourselves from others.

Sort of gets you thinking doesn’t it?   We spend a lot of time hiding from possible criticism even though it would free us to move on and do great things.   I wonder which one jarred you the most.   Though we all know which option would be ‘best’ we also know that we would still be torn between them.   Sharing your thoughts will help everyone understand challenges like this better helping us to choose wisely should we ever land on the Fraud Space.

Related Articles: Consistency in Boundaries, Children are Unpredictable, Skipping School,

Related Tip of the Week:  Integrity, Recognize Perfection

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The Pull and The Push

Have you ever wanted to make a change but held back for some reason? Looking back, would you change the way you managed your pull/push?

The Pull

We are pulled forward by our natural curiosity that asks, “Why are things the way they are?” and “How does it work?”  The pull makes you stand up and raise your hand.  Pulls are core values wanting action.

The Push

We are pushed back from questioning because we fear upsetting the apple cart and being criticized.  The push makes you sit down and wait for someone else to do something.  Pushes are unmet needs.

Stuck

Being stuck is just a pull fighting with a push.  Being afraid to move forward really means you’re being pushed back.  The only fear strong enough to do that is the fear of being criticized.  What if someone doesn’t agree and says you’re wrong?  What if you really are wrong?  “Better wait until I’m really, really sure.”

Un-Stuck

Nothing un-sticks a person like a really good reason to risk criticism.  When you know why, you have the courage to try.

Moving

Ask yourself, “Why do I feel the need to (_______)?”  “What will (_____) bring me?”  Sometimes I find my pull is really a push in disguise; I’m either pushing at someone else or I need to feel acceptable.  So rather than pretend with the pull, I address the push in a better way.

When you absolutely know why, you have the courage to try.

Related Articles:  The Basic Virtue,

Chime in!

Have you ever wanted to challenge the status quo but held back out of fear of criticism?  I think most everyone has. When you think back to one of those times,  do you wish you had pulled past your fear?  Or have you ever wanted to challenge something but didn’t because you realized your motives were simply to feel superior?  I’ve done that too.  Looking back on one of those examples from you life, are you happy with the outcome?  Would you change the way you managed your pull/push?  I know you have a lot to share, please pull and share it.