You’re going to need to bring everything to the table
How about the performance by Eminem and Rhianna on the MTV Movie Awards last night? They performed The Monster; a song that embodies a HUGE concept of life coaching.
Life Coaching ‘Rapped’ Up in Song
Eminem’s monster is his own fear and self-doubt—something familiar to us all. We’ve been told to banish bad thoughts, to ignore them, and to only listen to positive affirmations about ourselves. The problem is that the more we ignore the ‘monsters’, the louder they get.
The trick is to make friends with all your voices – the monsters and the angels. Think of them as party guests. To have a successful party (metaphor for a successful outcome) all your guests need to be welcomed, respected, and paid attention to. All your guests.
One way to respect a ‘monster’ voice is to hear its challenge as a legitimate question, “Who do you think you are?” Consider the question, answer legitimately, and the ‘monster’ no longer disrupts your party. Why? Because its purpose is to make sure you’re prepared to leap—not to prevent you from leaping.
Try as you may to ignore or to drown out fearful thoughts, eventually you’ll need to answer them before they will allow you to move. So, make friends with all of your powerful thoughts. You’re going to need to bring everything to the table, all your experiences, all your creativity, all your hunger if you’re to have what it takes to succeed. Bringing only half—even if it’s the ‘good’ half—won’t be enough.
Too many people live in a state of constant guilt. They feel guilty if they spend a cent on themselves, or if they miss something, or if anything goes wrong.
Mostly, guilt is triggered when your behavior is at odds with your values.
Four Ways Out of the Guilt Trap
If you don’t want anyone to know what you’re doing it’s a signal that you’re ashamed of it. Don’t do it!
Check in with your motives. If you were asked to explain your actions would you be willing to be honest? If not, don’t do it!
Stop living separate lives or being different people in different settings. You’ll be constant fear of being found out a fraud. Integrate your life.
Would it be okay for your children or grandchildren to do? If not, don’t do it!
Try one idea for a week. Pay attention to your level of stress and your overall opinion of yourself. If you’re not happy with what you find, try one or two of these ideas and keep watch. Eventually, you’ll find a way out of the guilt trap.