All About You After a Breakup

Five things to consider doing before rushing in to fill the vacancy.

No matter how a relationship ends, so many people rush to fill the vacancy. Instead of rushing in, perhaps it’s time to pause and think about yourself.

Five things to consider before you fill the vacancy

1.  Check for Dead Weight

Compromise is part of building strong relationships, however, now that this one is over it’s time to go back and decide whether you want to stay with those changes or drop them like so much dead weight.

2.  Empty the Suitcase

Still mad, sad, or in pain from the breakup? You’re carrying around some baggage. Deal with the leftovers so you don’t burden someone new.

3.  Takes Two to Tango

It’s logical to assume that you had a hand in the breakup, so be honest with yourself about your contribution and forgive.

4.  Love Yourself

Others will come and go but you’ll have YOU forever. Learn to love yourself and treat yourself really well.

5.  Reconnect with Friends

Existing friendships often get put on the back burner to make room for romance. Now you have time to reconnect with the people who are, and will always be, by your side.

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Holiday Opportunity

The holiday spirit is a powerful source of energy. This year, keep the spirit alive longer by doing, ditching, or delegating while you’re decorating.

Tomorrow Never Comes

Your physical environment is a reflection of your unconscious thinking.  If you’re surrounded by clutter, outdated pictures, and nick-knacks that you don’t like, the reflection back to you is undecided, disconnected, and disempowered. Mired down by an energy draining physical environment, it’s hard to enjoy all the opportunities that may come your way. Think back this year, ever walk by a room or a closet and think, “Wow, this is gonna take a really long time to clean up,” then walk away vowing to get to it later? How about thinking, “I have no idea where to even start,” then walk away vowing to figure it out tomorrow?  Later and tomorrow never happen; the time is always now and the day is always today so the clutter remains.

Holiday Opportunity

As we slip into December and start decorating for the holidays, you have the perfect opportunity to start updating a few energy draining spaces in your home. As you rearrange things to make room for holiday decorations, take a good look at everything you touch. Ask yourself if it fits with your life today. It might need an update or it might need a new home entirely.

Do – Ditch – Delegate: Pictures

Take a good look at the pictures in all those picture frames; do they need an update?  Before stashing it during the holidays:

           Do:  Replace the picture

      Ditch: Toss the picture—and frame, too, if it’s bad.

Delegate: Wrap it up and give it to someone who might appreciate it more.

This applies to chachkas, too. The point is that your physical environment can’t feed you energy if it’s cluttered or filled with outdated and disempowering things.

It’ll Keep on Giving

The holiday spirit is a powerful source of energy waiting to be used. Traditionally, we channel it toward gift giving, meal planning, and entertaining not thinking to tap into it to help create happier energy around us the other 11 months of the year. So this year, keep the spirit alive longer by doing, ditching, or delegating while you’re decorating.

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Problem Crumb Trail

We create residual problems when we make poor choices. Cleaning up the crumbs left behind siphons off energy and distracts us from our goals.

The problem crumb trail is that string of residual headaches and guilty feelings that we leave ourselves when we make poor choices.

Big things like putting off doing your taxes and small things like waiting to clean the blender after making a protein shake. Even a lie can create a trail of crumbs.

Not only are the crumbs annoying and costly, more importantly they siphon-off your energy and take your focus off moving confidently in the direction of your goals and dreams.

Your Challenge

This week’s challenge is to experiment with the idea of dropping no crumbs – starting with the clutter crumbs.

One great place to start clearing away the problems is to de-crumb the clutter. Clutter makes a lot of crumbs, so this week pick up the clutter and clear away the crumbs. Start with a small area first, like your car or your bathroom. Momentum will build quickly, and without all those crumbs slowing your down, you’ll get moving faster and with way more joy.

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Listen to the Monday Morning Motivational Moment about just this idea. We broadcast live on Jolana’s Morning Radio Show, every Monday morning at 7:30 on WFAS 103.9 FM, New York.