All About You After a Breakup

Five things to consider doing before rushing in to fill the vacancy.

No matter how a relationship ends, so many people rush to fill the vacancy. Instead of rushing in, perhaps it’s time to pause and think about yourself.

Five things to consider before you fill the vacancy

1.  Check for Dead Weight

Compromise is part of building strong relationships, however, now that this one is over it’s time to go back and decide whether you want to stay with those changes or drop them like so much dead weight.

2.  Empty the Suitcase

Still mad, sad, or in pain from the breakup? You’re carrying around some baggage. Deal with the leftovers so you don’t burden someone new.

3.  Takes Two to Tango

It’s logical to assume that you had a hand in the breakup, so be honest with yourself about your contribution and forgive.

4.  Love Yourself

Others will come and go but you’ll have YOU forever. Learn to love yourself and treat yourself really well.

5.  Reconnect with Friends

Existing friendships often get put on the back burner to make room for romance. Now you have time to reconnect with the people who are, and will always be, by your side.

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After-a-Breakup

Information Test Drive

Test a concept or suggestion with the intention of shrinking it to a usable size. Once you’ve found the meaningful and useful bits, the rest will be easy to let go of.

Chasing Shiny Info.

Reading books, taking classes, watching videos, etc. are all great ways to acquire information. Just being exposed to new knowledge can open new possibilities of thought, but that’s as far as it can go unless you try it on for size.

True knowing requires a test drive because true knowing happens through the body not by study.

Are you a career student, a self-help junkie, or someone who never feels quite ready to do something?  Sure, you’re wired to be curious, so shiny new information attracts your attention, but putting too much stuff in your brain can turn good information into a liability. All that possibility is distracting and anxiety causing unless you’re turning at least some of it into opportunities.

Test Driving

Test driving ideas shrinks them and makes them usable. You’re trimming off the bits that don’t fit and reshaping the bits that do fit based on your experience. Ah, that’s better! What’s left can be prioritized and its purpose is clear.

It’s your turn to take this idea out for a spin. Are you trying to make a decision or does the thought of taking an action create anxiety? Perhaps one place to look for relief is in a test drive of the information you’re using. Test a concept or suggestion with the intention of shrinking it to a usable size. Once you’ve found the meaningful and useful bits, the rest will be easy to let go of.

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Listen to the Morning Motivational Moment about just this idea.

We broadcast live on Jolana’s Morning Radio Show, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning at 7:30 on WFAS 103.9 FM, New York.


Keeping Up With Change

Keep up with the pace of change by learning new skills in stimulating environments.

A Short Shelf Life

Personal development has a short shelf life because efforts are focused on doing something new. Development follows a specific path to a predictable and intended result. But, with the pace of change speeding up, anything that developed this way can quickly become outdated. New next version of technology is always minutes away from making what you know obsolete.

It takes too much energy to stay current if all you do is develop skills. Consider an easier path that includes elements of personal evolution into your development plans.

Personal evolution is more about becoming something new– not just doing something new.

We’re evolving how we think and feel by allowing ourselves to respond to the world around us.  Combining both elements in your efforts means that you’re constantly updating how you think and feel about what you know or know how to do.

You don’t have to do all the work alone, you can also create stimulating environments that help you become someone new as you learn how to do something new.

Listen to the Morning Motivational Moment about just this idea.

We broadcast live on Jolana’s Morning Radio Show, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning at 7:30 on WFAS 103.9 FM, New York.