Self-Help Junkies

3 kinds of self-help junkies and 3 ideas for kicking the habit.

Have you ever known someone who reads a lot of self-help or motivational stuff but doesn’t really ever do anything differently? They’re just walking around spouting jargon and positive affirmations?

Three Types of Addicts

Entertained

Some are information addicts who see learning as a form of entertainment. They know a lot of great stuff, but nothing changes in their lives. Nothing wrong with this, by the way, as long as the addict isn’t expecting much to change.

If you’re an information addict, perhaps learning like this is getting in the way of your success. Try switching the way you get information for 6 months. Stop reading to learn and try learning from life’s events.

Thrill Seeker

Many people get a sort of ‘high’ on the notion of potential and possibilities. There’s a boost of energy comes along with the notion of one’s potential or expanded/limitless possibilities. Buying the next book by Seth Goden or Brene’ Brown is a ‘puff’ of an energy fix.

If you’re getting high on potential, perhaps there’s a problem staring at you that you’re not looking back at directly. It may take some self-help detox for you to find out.

Optimist

Affirmations and self-help jargon are often used by people as a way to keep a positive outlook while they’re waiting for reality to become positive. It’s not a bad way to go as long as you have a plan to make tangible changes. With too much focus upward, you may find yourself slowly sinking in the muck of your life.

If you’re using affirmations and jargon as a lifeline, perhaps it’s time to get professional help to work through the issues that may be holding  you back.

 Challenge

Breaking the self-help habit can be very challenging. The first step is to objectively assess the dynamic driving your addiction.


 

Related WFAS Motivational Broadcast:  Keeping Up with Change

Related Articles:  Old Year’s Resolutions, Information Test Drive,

Related Tip of the Week:  The Game of Change

Listen to the Morning Motivational Moment about just this idea.

We broadcast live on Jolana’s Morning Radio Show, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning at 7:30 on WFAS 103.9 FM, New York.


Filling Unmet Needs

Unmet personal needs keep you looping back to self-limiting patterns.

Before strategy, let’s clarify two things:

Personal needs are . . .

things that enable you to be You. You need them to make the most of what God gave you.

Unmet personal needs affect us . . .

in a variety of ways, but mostly they keep us looping back to self-limiting patterns.

      • No matter how much money someone makes, they’re always broke.
      • Dating the same kind of person over and over.

 Getting Started

Filling personal needs is a big and deeply personal topic. One blog post can’t do this important issue justice, but it can get you started.

Step 1

Realize that your personal needs aren’t just ‘important’-they are essential.

Step 2

Pick one personal need to start with. It need not be major, just something that, if you picture your life with plenty of this thing, you’d see something truly amazing.

Examples:

        • To be Accepted, Included, Appreciated
        • To Accomplish, Achieve, Attain
        • To be Needed, Useful, Liked

Step 3

Identify the source of this need. Was it something you lacked as a child, is it the result of an important life event, is it culturally or ethically based? Knowing its origin will help you to accept it, respect it, and start doing something about it.

Related WFAS Motivational Moments: Needy People

Related Articles: Life or Lifestyle?

Related Tip of the Week: Problem Crumb Trail,

Listen to the Morning Motivational Moment about just this idea.

We broadcast live on Jolana’s Morning Radio Show, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning at 7:30 on WFAS 103.9 FM, New York.

 

Self-Handicapping

Doing counterproductive things may reveal your true intention.

What are your true intentions?

Have you ever procrastinated? Yes?

Are you so busy with life that you don’t have time to exercise?  Yes?

Have you ever partied too much the night before something important?  Yes?

You may be self-handicapping.

Self-handicapping is doing counterproductive things that make it less likely that you’ll be able to perform at your best. Not only counterproductive, but is seems counter-intuitive unless you consider the person’s true intention.

Why Self-Handicap?

What if you weren’t sure you could win, and what if preserving your self-image was more important than winning? In that case, you’d probably create plausible deniability, “Hey, I got a C on my exam! That’s pretty good considering I was hung-over and only studied an hour before the test.”

When the outcome is particularly important or you’ll feel harshly judged by a poor outcome, self-handicapping seems a way to soften the blow. Unfortunately, it’s a big set-up for an even farther fall because not only won’t you have what you want, no one—not even you—really buys the excuse. It’s a set up for depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.

When you’re operating with two competing intentions, the one that matters most will decide your behavior.

Two things to try

  1. If you’re self handicapping so that you don’t have to follow through with something you really don’t want in the first place, your challenge is to figure out what it is that you really do want and work from there.
  2. If you’re self handicapping to avoid facing disappointment, your challenge is to find several other options for success. The more options you have the less you’ll worry over any one failed attempt because you’ll know that, even if you fail with your best effort here, you’ll have several other ways to go for the overall win.

Related Articles: The Fraud Space, Information Test Drive,

Related Radio Shows: Stop Hiding Your Flaws, Playing To Win

Listen to the Morning Motivational Moment about just this idea.

We broadcast live on Jolana’s Morning Radio Show, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning at 7:30 on WFAS 103.9 FM, New York.