Successful Failure

Why are successful people waking up feeling like failures?

More and more successful people are waking up feeling like failures.

What many people are just becoming aware of is that success has two parts:

  • Accomplishing or achieving things for others
  • Accomplishing or achieving things for ourselves

Assumptions Were Made

Okay, maybe we sort of knew there were two parts, but we made assumptions.

Assumption #1: If/Then Magic

One assumption may be that success in one part would just magically take care of the other.

o   If I provide for the family then I’ll have a close relationship with them.

o   If I choose family over career then I’ll have satisfied my life purpose.  

Assumption #2: Tomorrow Will Come

Another assumption is that once we’ve ‘made it’ in one part we’ll have plenty of time to be successful in the other.

o   Once I retire I’ll make it up to my spouse or kids.

o   Once the kids are gone I’ll pick up where I left off in my career.

There are flaws in both assumptions and this is why successful people are waking up to find themselves feeling like failures.

New Framework

Strategically planning so that you’re considering both parts of success in every decision is a new framework for many people, so do yourself a favor and start small.

  1. Pick one small activity you do on a regular basis: a hobby, attending a group meeting, fitness training, etc., something small and regular.
  2. Check to see how this one small activity connects to winning each part of success.
  3. Find ways to tweak the activity for better contribution to both parts of your success.

Being aware like this now will help to prevent feeling like a successful failure later.

Related Motivational Moments:  Having it all is a Pipe Dream

Related Articles:  Playing it Risky,

Related Tip of the WeekEvaluate Choices, After School Debrief,

Listen to the Morning Motivational Moment about just this idea.

We broadcast live on Jolana’s Morning Radio Show, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning at 7:30 on WFAS 103.9 FM, New York.


Self-Help Junkies

3 kinds of self-help junkies and 3 ideas for kicking the habit.

Have you ever known someone who reads a lot of self-help or motivational stuff but doesn’t really ever do anything differently? They’re just walking around spouting jargon and positive affirmations?

Three Types of Addicts

Entertained

Some are information addicts who see learning as a form of entertainment. They know a lot of great stuff, but nothing changes in their lives. Nothing wrong with this, by the way, as long as the addict isn’t expecting much to change.

If you’re an information addict, perhaps learning like this is getting in the way of your success. Try switching the way you get information for 6 months. Stop reading to learn and try learning from life’s events.

Thrill Seeker

Many people get a sort of ‘high’ on the notion of potential and possibilities. There’s a boost of energy comes along with the notion of one’s potential or expanded/limitless possibilities. Buying the next book by Seth Goden or Brene’ Brown is a ‘puff’ of an energy fix.

If you’re getting high on potential, perhaps there’s a problem staring at you that you’re not looking back at directly. It may take some self-help detox for you to find out.

Optimist

Affirmations and self-help jargon are often used by people as a way to keep a positive outlook while they’re waiting for reality to become positive. It’s not a bad way to go as long as you have a plan to make tangible changes. With too much focus upward, you may find yourself slowly sinking in the muck of your life.

If you’re using affirmations and jargon as a lifeline, perhaps it’s time to get professional help to work through the issues that may be holding  you back.

 Challenge

Breaking the self-help habit can be very challenging. The first step is to objectively assess the dynamic driving your addiction.


 

Related WFAS Motivational Broadcast:  Keeping Up with Change

Related Articles:  Old Year’s Resolutions, Information Test Drive,

Related Tip of the Week:  The Game of Change

Listen to the Morning Motivational Moment about just this idea.

We broadcast live on Jolana’s Morning Radio Show, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning at 7:30 on WFAS 103.9 FM, New York.


Filling Unmet Needs

Unmet personal needs keep you looping back to self-limiting patterns.

Before strategy, let’s clarify two things:

Personal needs are . . .

things that enable you to be You. You need them to make the most of what God gave you.

Unmet personal needs affect us . . .

in a variety of ways, but mostly they keep us looping back to self-limiting patterns.

      • No matter how much money someone makes, they’re always broke.
      • Dating the same kind of person over and over.

 Getting Started

Filling personal needs is a big and deeply personal topic. One blog post can’t do this important issue justice, but it can get you started.

Step 1

Realize that your personal needs aren’t just ‘important’-they are essential.

Step 2

Pick one personal need to start with. It need not be major, just something that, if you picture your life with plenty of this thing, you’d see something truly amazing.

Examples:

        • To be Accepted, Included, Appreciated
        • To Accomplish, Achieve, Attain
        • To be Needed, Useful, Liked

Step 3

Identify the source of this need. Was it something you lacked as a child, is it the result of an important life event, is it culturally or ethically based? Knowing its origin will help you to accept it, respect it, and start doing something about it.

Related WFAS Motivational Moments: Needy People

Related Articles: Life or Lifestyle?

Related Tip of the Week: Problem Crumb Trail,

Listen to the Morning Motivational Moment about just this idea.

We broadcast live on Jolana’s Morning Radio Show, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning at 7:30 on WFAS 103.9 FM, New York.